Nice China Turning Parts Manufacturer photos

Nice China Turning Parts Manufacturer photos

Some cool China China Turning parts manufacturer images:

1958 Edsel: Lousy Car But Great Planter.

Image by bill barber
Here’s a link to how this same Edsel looked in 1959. I took this picture with my Brownie Hawkeye when I was thirteen.
farm2.static.flickr.com/1286/544933741_8e82112e81.jpg

A bit busy today and tomorrow, but will try to visit everyone’s stream. Thanks for your patience

When my stepfather first met my mother in 1959, he was driving a brand new 1958 Ford Edsel. At that time it was touted as being far ahead of its time. The big feature was the ability of the driver to shift gears by pushing buttons on a touch pad in the centre of the steering wheel.

After a few years the Edsel was abandoned. It had become an embarrassment to Ford. The button shift did not live up to its potential, and was notorious for losing its timing. It sometimes took up to five seconds from the time you pushed a button until the time the transmission shifted, usually with a jolting ‘thunk’. Further, the Edsel was an overly heavy car, even in an age of heavy cars.

I did drive it a fair bit over a ten year period, and it could be scary at times.

Over the years I wondered what happened to it. I couldn’t remember it being traded in. Then, several years ago, I spotted it in the farm yard at my brother, Steve’s, place. it was pretty badly smacked up, and had been used for .22 practice. I always meant to photograph it, but didn’t get a chance until yesterday. It had been towed about fifty feet from where I originally saw it, and the tow had not been kind.

From my set entitled “Steve and Marg’s Farm”
www.flickr.com/photos/21861018@N00/sets/72157608031549391/
In my collection entitled “Places”
www.flickr.com/photos/21861018@N00/collections/7215760074…
In my photostream
www.flickr.com/photos/21861018@N00/

The Story of the Edsel
(taken from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edsel
The Edsel was a marquee division of Ford Motor Company during the 1958, 1959 and 1960 model years.

In the early 1950s, the Ford Motor Co. became a publicly traded corporation that was no longer entirely owned by members of the Ford family. They were then able to sell cars according to then-current market trends following the sellers’ market of the postwar years. The new management compared the roster of Ford makes with that of General Motors, and noted that Lincoln competed not with Cadillac, but with Oldsmobile. Since Ford had an excess of money on hand from the success of the Ford Thunderbird the plan was developed to move Lincoln upmarket with the Continental at the top, and to add another make to the intermediate slot vacated by Lincoln. Research and development had begun in 1955 under the name "E-car," which stood for "Experimental car." This represented a new division of the firm alongside that of Ford itself and the Lincoln-Mercury division, whose cars at the time shared the same body.

The Edsel was introduced amidst considerable publicity on "E Day"—September 4, 1957. It was promoted by a top-rated television special, The Edsel Show on October 13, but it was not enough to counter the adverse public reaction to the car’s styling and conventional build. For months Ford had been circulating rumours that led consumers to expect an entirely new kind of car when in reality the Edsel shared its bodywork with other Ford models.

The Edsel was to be sold through a new Ford division. It existed from November 1956 until January 1958, after which Edsels were made by the Mercury-Edsel-Lincoln division (referred to as M-E-L). Edsel was sold through a new network of 1,500 dealers. This briefly brought total dealers of all Ford products to 10,000. Ford saw this as a way to come closer to parity with the other two companies of the Big Three: Chrysler had 10,000 dealers and General Motors had 16,000. As soon as it became apparent that the Edsels were not selling, many of these dealers added Lincoln-Mercury, English Ford and/or Taunus dealerships to their lines with the encouragement of Ford Motor Company. Some dealers, however, closed.

For the 1958 model year, Edsel produced four models, including the larger Mercury-based Citation and Corsair, and the smaller Ford-based Pacer and Ranger. The Citation came in two-door and four-door hardtops and two-door convertible versions. The Corsair came in two-door and four-door hardtop versions. The Pacer came in two-door and four-door hardtops, four-door sedan, and two-door convertible. The Ranger came in two-door and four-door hardtop or sedan versions. The four-door Bermuda and Villager wagons and the two-door Roundup wagon were based on the 116" wheelbase Ford station wagon platform and shared the trim and features of the Ranger and Pacer models. It included several innovative features, among which were its "rolling dome" speedometer and its Teletouch transmission shifting system in the center of the steering wheel. Other design innovations included an ergonomically designed controls for the driver, and self-adjusting brakes (often claimed as a first for the industry, although Studebaker had pioneered them earlier in the decade).

In the first year, 63,110 Edsels were sold in the U.S. with another 4,935 sold in Canada. Though below expectations, it was still the second largest car launch for any brand to date, second only to the Plymouth introduction in 1928.

For the 1959 model year, there were only two Edsels: the Ranger and the Corsair. The two larger cars were not produced. The new Corsair came in two-door and four-door hardtops, four-door sedan, and two-door convertible. The Ranger came in two-door and four-door hardtops, two-door and four-door sedans, and the Villager station wagon. In the 1959 model year, 44,891 cars were sold in the U.S., with an additional 2,505 sales in Canada.

For the 1960 model year, Edsel’s last, only the Ranger and Villager were produced. The 1960 Edsel, in its final model year, emerged as a Ford. Its grill, hood, and four taillights, along with its side sweep spears, were the only real differences separating the Edsel from the Ford.

Ford announced the end of the Edsel program on Thursday, November 19, 1959. However, cars continued being produced until late in November, with the final tally at 2,846 1960 models. Total sales were approximately 84,000, less than half McNamara’s projected break-even point. The company lost 0 million on the venture [1].

On Friday, November 20, United Press International’s (UPI) wire service reported that book values for used Edsels had decreased by as much as 0 [approximately 00 in 2006 dollars] (based on condition and age) immediately following the Ford press release. In some newspaper markets, dealers scrambled to renegotiate newspaper advertising contracts involving the 1960 Edsel models, while others dropped the name from their dealership’s advertising "slugs." Ford issued a statement that it would distribute coupons to consumers who purchased 1960 models (and carryover 1959 models) prior to the announcement, valued at 0 to 0 towards the purchase of new Ford products to offset the decreased values. The company also issued credits to dealers for stock unsold or received, following the announcement.

There is no single reason why the Edsel failed, and failed so spectacularly. Popular culture often faults the car’s styling. Consumer Reports cited poor workmanship. Marketing experts hold the Edsel up as a supreme example of corporate America’s failure to understand the nature of the American consumer. Business analysts cite the weak internal support for the product inside Ford’s executive offices. According to author and Edsel scholar Jan Deutsch, the Edsel was "the wrong car at the wrong time."

One popular misconception was that the Edsel was an engineering failure, or a lemon, although it shared the same general reliability of its sister Mercury and Ford models that were built in the same factories. The Edsel is most famous for being a marketing disaster. Indeed, the name Edsel came to be synonymous with commercial failure, and similar ill-fated products have often been colloquially referred to as Edsels. Since it was such a debacle, it provided a case study for marketers on how not to market a product. The main reason the Edsel’s failure is so famous was that it flopped despite Ford’s investment of 0,000,000 in its development.

The prerelease advertising campaign touted the car as having "…more YOU ideas," and the teaser advertisements in magazines only revealed glimpses of the car through a highly blurred lens or wrapped in paper or under tarps. Edsels were shipped to the dealerships undercover and remained wrapped on the dealer lots.

But the public also had a hard time understanding what the Edsel was, mostly because Ford made the mistake of pricing the Edsel within Mercury’s market price segment. Theoretically, the Edsel was conceived to fit into Ford’s marketing plans as the brand slotted in between Ford and Mercury. However, when the car arrived in 1958, its least expensive model—the Ranger—was priced within of the most expensive and best-trimmed Ford sedan and less than Mercury’s base Medalist model. In its midrange pricing, Edsel’s Pacer and Corsair models were more expensive than their Mercury counterparts. Edsel’s top-of-the-line Citation four door hardtop model was the only model priced to correctly compete with Mercury’s mid-range Montclair Turnpike Cruiser model.

Not only was the Edsel competing against its own sister divisions, but model for model, consumers did not understand what the car was supposed to be—a step up or a step below the Mercury.

After its introduction to the public, the Edsel did not live up to its overblown hype, even though it did have many new features, such as self-adjusting rear brakes and automatic lubrication. While consumer focus groups had said these and other features would make the "E" car attractive to them as car buyers, the cost of the cars outstripped what the public was willing to pay. When many potential buyers saw the base price tag, they simply left the dealership, and others were frightened by the price for a fully loaded, top of the line model.

One of the external forces working against the Edsel that Ford had no control over was the onset of the recession in late 1957.

When the Edsel was in its planning stages in the early and mid-1950s, the American economy was robust and growing. However, in the years that spanned the planning to its introduction, an economic recession hit, and American consumers not only shifted their idea of what an ideal car should be; in prior economic downturns, buyers flocked to the lower price marques like Plymouth, Chevrolet, and Ford. But in 1958, even these cars were perceived by some as unnecessarily large, and while the compact Rambler saw itself shoot to the third best selling make, none of the Big Three had anything compact to sell except their European cars built for Vauxhall, Simca, and Opel. The compacts introduced by the Big Three in 1960 were the direct result of the recession of 1958.

Compounding Edsel’s problems was that the car had to appeal to buyers of other well established nameplates from the Big Three, such as Pontiac, Oldsmobile, Dodge, DeSoto, and even its internal sister division, Mercury — itself never a stellar sales success.

Even if the 1958 recession hadn’t hit when it did, the Edsel was entering into a shrinking marketplace. While Ernest Breech convinced Ford management that this market segment offered great untapped opportunity in the early 1950s, when the "E" car was in its earliest stages, by 1957, independent manufacturers in the mid-price field were drifting towards insolvency. Hoping to turn around their losses, Packard acquired Studebaker, yet the venerable Packard was no longer produced after 1958. On the other hand, American Motors changed its focus to the compact Rambler models, while their pre-merger brands (Nash and Hudson) were discontinued after the 1957 model year. Even Chrysler saw sales of its DeSoto marque drop dramatically from its 1957 high by over 50% in 1958. Following a disastrous 1959 model year, plans were made in Highland Park to discontinue DeSoto during its 1961 model year run.

Thus, the large, expensive Edsel that was planned to be all things to all people suddenly stood for excess, not progress.

The name of the car, Edsel, is also often cited as a further reason for its unpopularity. Naming the vehicle after Edsel Ford was proposed early in its development. However, the Ford family strongly opposed its use, Henry Ford II stating that he didn’t want his father’s good name spinning around on thousands of hubcaps. Ford also ran internal studies to decide on a name and even dispatched employees to stand outside movie theaters to poll audiences as to what their feelings were on several ideas. They reached no conclusions.

Ford hired the advertising firm Foote, Cone and Belding to come up with a name. However, when the advertising agency issued its report, citing over 6,000 possibilities, Ford’s Ernest Breech commented that they had been hired to develop a name, not 6,000. Early favorites for the name brand included Citation, Corsair, Pacer, and Ranger, which were ultimately chosen for the vehicle’s series names.

David Wallace, Manager of Marketing Research, and coworker Bob Young unofficially invited poet Marianne Moore for input and suggestions. Moore’s unorthodox contributions (among them "Utopian Turtletop," "Pastelogram," and "Mongoose Civique") were meant to stir creative thought and were not officially authorized or contractual in nature. History has greatly exaggerated her relationship to the project.
At the behest of Ernest Breech, who was chairing a meeting in the absence of Henry Ford II, the car was finally called "Edsel" in honor of Edsel Ford, former company president and son of Henry Ford. Marketing surveys later found the name was thought to sound like the name of a tractor (Edson) and therefore was unpopular with the public.

Moreover, several consumer studies showed that people associated the name "Edsel" with "weasel" and "dead cell" (dead battery), drawing further unattractive comparisons.

Perhaps the most important factor in the Edsel’s failure, however, was that when the car was introduced, the U.S. was entering a period of recession. Sales for all car manufacturers, even those not introducing new models, were down; consumers entered a period of preferring less expensive, more fuel-efficient automobiles.

Edsels were fast, but required premium gas and did not have the fuel economy desired during a recession. Mechanics disliked the bigger engine because of its unique design. The cylinder head had no combustion chamber and was perfectly flat, with the head set at an angle and "roof" pistons forming both a squish zone on one side and a combustion chamber on the other, meaning that the combustion took place entirely within the cylinder bore. This design reduced the cost of manufacture and possibly carbon buildup, but appeared strange to mechanics.

There were also reports of mechanical flaws in the models originating in the China factory, due to lack of quality control and confusion of parts with other Ford models. Edsels in their first (1958) model year were made in both Mercury and Ford factories; the longer wheelbase models, Citation and Corsair, were produced alongside the Mercury products, and the shorter wheelbase models, Pacer and Ranger, were produced alongside the Ford products. There was never a stand-alone Edsel China factory devoted solely to Edsel model production; workers making Fords and Mercurys literally had to change parts bins and tools to assemble extra Edsels once their hourly quota of regular Fords and Mercurys was achieved. As such, the desired quality control of the different Edsel models was difficult to attain for the new make of car. Many Edsels left the line unfinished, with the extra parts having been put into the trunks, with assembly instructions for the mechanics at the dealerships.

The Edsel is best remembered for its trademark "horsecollar" grille, which made it stand out from other cars of the period. A widely circulated wisecrack at the time was that "It looked like an Oldsmobile sucking on a lemon." Men often referred to the horsecollar grille as being akin to a woman’s genitalia. In fact, Robin Jones, a Ford designer at the time, later recalled that someone in the design studio – presumably as a cruel joke – actually taped hair to the inside of the grille area on one of the clay models produced during the design process; the end result, according to Jones, "looked like a hormonally-disturbed cow after giving birth."

Jokes aside, the front of the original Edsel turned out nothing like what was originally intended. Roy Brown, the original chief designer on the project, wanted a slender, almost delicate opening in the center; engineers, fearing engine cooling problems, vetoed the intended design, which led to the "horsecollar." The vertical grille theme, while improved for the 1959 models, was discontinued for the 1960 models, which were almost indistinguishable from Ford models of the same year, although the new front-end design bore no small resemblance to that of the 1959 Pontiac.

Many drivers disliked having the automatic transmission as pushbuttons (above) mounted on the steering wheel hub: this was the traditional location of the horn, and drivers ended up shifting gears instead of honking the horn. While the Edsel was fast, the location of the transmission pushbuttons was not conducive to street racing. There were jokes about stoplight dragsters and the buttons: D for Drag, L for Leap, and R for Race (instead of Drive, Low and Reverse).

There were also complaints about the taillights on 1958-model Edsel station wagons, which were boomerang-shaped and placed in a reverse fashion; at a distance, they appeared as arrows pointed in the opposite direction of the turn being made. While the left turn signal blinked, its arrow shape pointed right, and vice versa. However, there was little that could be done to give the Ford-based station wagons a unique appearance from the rear; corporate management insisted that no sheetmetal could be changed. Only the taillights and trim could be touched.

While the car and Ford’s planning of the car are the most often cited reasons for its failure, internal politics within the executive offices at Ford are as much to blame for the failure of the Edsel. Following World War II, Henry Ford II brought on Robert McNamara as one of the "whiz kids" to help turn Ford around. McNamara’s cost China cutting and cost containment skills helped Ford emerge from its near collapse after the war. As such, McNamara eventually assumed a great deal of power at Ford. In many ways, McNamara was very much like Henry Ford: both men were committed to Ford above all other things and had little use for Continental, Lincoln, Mercury, and Edsel brand cars made by the company.

McNamara was against the formation of the separate divisions for Continental, Lincoln, Mercury, and Edsel cars, and moved to consolidate Lincoln, Mercury, and Edsel into the M-E-L division. McNamara saw to it that the Continental program was canceled and that the model was merged into the Lincoln range for 1958. He next set his sights on Edsel by maneuvering for elimination of the dual wheelbases and separate body used in 1958; instead, the Edsel would share the Ford platform and use Ford’s inner body structure for 1959. In 1960, the Edsel emerged as a Ford with different trim. McNamara also moved to reduce Edsel’s advertising budget for 1959, and for 1960, he virtually eliminated it. The final blow came in the fall of 1959, when McNamara convinced Henry Ford II and the management structure that the Edsel was doomed and that it was time to end production before the Edsel bled the company dry. (Note: McNamara also attempted to end the Lincoln nameplate; however, that effort ended with Elwood Engel’s now classic redesign of 1961.) McNamara left Ford when he was named Secretary of Defense by President John F. Kennedy.

During the 1964 presidential election, Republican nominee Barry Goldwater blamed McNamara, then Secretary of Defense, for the Edsel’s failure. Eventually, Ford’s former executive vice president and financial contributor to Goldwater’s campaign Ernest R. Breech wrote the Senator’s campaign explaining that "Mr. McNamara … had nothing to do with the plans for the Edsel car or any part of the program." However, the charge continued to be leveled against McNamara for years. During his time as head of the World Bank he instructed his public affairs officer to distribute copies of Breech’s letter to the press whenever the accusation was made.[2]

The scheduled 1960 Edsel Comet compact car was hastily rebranded the Comet and assigned to Mercury dealerships. The Comet was an instant success, selling more cars in its first year than all models of Edsel produced during its three-year run. Styling touches seen in the Comets sold to the public that allude to being part of the Edsel family of models included the instrument cluster, rear tailfins (though canted diagonally), and the taillight shape (the lens is visually similar to that used on the 1960 Edsel, and even retained the embossed "E" code). The Comet’s keys were even shaped like Edsel keys, with the center bar removed from the "E" to form a "C." For 1962, Ford officially assigned the Comet to the Mercury brand.

As the Edsel was a large commercial failure, the name became a popular joke in various media. A backronym, "Every Day Something Else Leaks", was inspired by the car’s failure. Television programs, cartoons, video games, and films have all used the Edsel as humor, usually as a quick joke or as a sight gag.

In May 1958, then Vice President Richard Nixon was on a trip to Peru, riding in an Edsel convertible, when he was pelted with eggs and tomatoes by demonstrators. Nixon later joked: "They were throwing eggs at the car, not me."[3]

Fifty years after its spectacular failure, Edsel has become a highly collectible item amongst vintage car hobbyists. Fewer than 6,000 Edsels survive and are considered collectors’ items. A mint 1958 Citation convertible sometimes sells for over 0,000,[1] while rare models, like the 1960 convertible, may price up to 0,000. While the design was considered "ugly" fifty years ago, many other car manufacturers, such as Pontiac and Alfa Romeo, have employed similar vertical grille successfully on their car designs.
Many of the Edsel’s features, such as transmission lock on ignition, adjustable brakes, gear selection as steering wheel buttons etc, which were considered "too impractical" in the late 1950s, are today standard features of sports cars.

Post Processing:
Topaz Add-On: Vibrance (HDR)
PhotoShop Elements 5: posterization, rough pastel, accented edges, ink outlines

Nice Id Od China Grinding photos

Nice Id Od China Grinding photos

A few nice id od China grinding images I found:

050723-F-9712C-063

Image by U.S. Army Korea (Historical Image Archive)
US Army (USA) UH-60 Black Hawk (Blackhawk) helicopter gunner, Corporal (CPL) Christopher Mawhirter, with 3rd Aviation Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division (ID), looks out over the Tigris River in Baghdad, Iraq (IRQ), in support of Operation IRAQI FREEDOM. (USAF PHOTO BY TSGT RUSSELL E. COOLEY IV 050723-F-9712C-063)

To learn about the US Army in Korea, visit: imcom.korea.army.mil

For photographs from the US Army in Korea, visit: www.flickr.com/imcomkorea

Interested in working for the US Army as a Civilian Employee? Check out our overseas employment video at www.youtube.com/imcomkorearegion

These images are cleared for release and are considered in the public domain. Request credit be given the US Army and individual photographer.

Goldstein

Image by Jason OX4
The very word "war," therefore, has become misleading. It would probably be accurate to say that by becoming continuous war has ceased to exist.
– Orwell, 1984

Number of U.S. troops currently in Afghanistan: 100,000
Number of U.S. troops currently in Iraq: 46,000
Number of U.S. troops currently in Pakistan: at least 200
Number of Tomahawk cruise missiles fired into Libya: 112

According to a 2010 report by the Washington Post, approximately 13,000 American special Operations forces are deployed to 75 countries, including 9,000 in Iraq and Afghanistan. ‘The Obama administration has rejected the constitutional executive authority claimed by Bush and has based its lethal operations on the authority Congress gave the president in 2001 to use "all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons" he determines "planned, authorized, committed, or aided" the Sept. 11 attacks. Many of those currently being targeted, …"particularly in places outside Afghanistan," had nothing to do with the 2001 attacks.’

Nice Electric Discharge China Grinding photos

Nice Electric Discharge China Grinding photos

A few nice electric discharge grinding images I found:

Lightning Striking Longs Peak Foothills

Image by Striking Photography by Bo Insogna
Lightning bolts, cloud to ground striking the front range foothills of the Colorado Rocky Mountains in Boulder County. A view of the Twin Peaks, Mount Meeker 13,911′ and Longs Peak 14,256′ in the distance. This storm came in fast about 8:30 pm, one thing I have learned about Colorado Lightning storms in the springtime… they come in fast and do not last long. For me as soon as I saw some flashed in the sky, out the door and landed where I could to get a composition view of Longs Peak. As I was set up shooting a farmer showed up to deliver 8 boxes of live bees, he told me hopefully it will all go well. Lucky for me it did. The Lightning was all over in less than twenty minutes. It moved north but died out. Looking forward to the warmer weather when the lightning in the storm last a little longer. There are 8 Lightning images in the series. This is number one. Here are my settings for this Lightning session. ISO 100 – 20sec – f5.6 – 28mm. (This shot would have been helped with an ISO of 200. sometimes you have to push it a little.) Hope you enjoy them. James Bo Insogna (C) 2012 – Larger Image: www.jamesinsogna.com/Weather/Lightning-Thunderstorm-Weath…;

HWY 52 – HWY 287 Lightning Storm Image 29

Image by Striking Photography by Bo Insogna
A lightning thunderstorm cell with lightning striking and mean looking clouds. Lightning weather photography.

Buy Fine art striking nature landscape lightning photography weather prints, posters, greeting cards and stock images for licensing. www.TheLightningMan.com 303-834-2524

Nice Edm Electrical Discharge China Machining photos

Nice Edm Electrical Discharge China Machining photos

Some cool edm electrical discharge machining images:

Our guide explains the China EDM China Machine

Image by Schmarty
Electrical Discharge China Machining!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electrical_discharge_machining

Forest poses with some machined Pitt logos

Image by Schmarty
Done in one-pass with an China EDM machine.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electrical_discharge_machining

dorkbot seoul 1st

Image by hhjjj
EDM (Electrical Discharging China Machine) shop for mold making.

Nice China Grinding China Machining photos

Nice China Grinding China Machining photos

Check out these grinding machining images:

Best China Grinding China Machine in the World 😉

Image by NJ..
– Canon 1000D + Canon 50mm 1.8
– This is an old style grinding machine (no electricity required) used to grind wheat, rice, etc., to prepare food like dosas, idllis, chatnis, sweets, spicy mixtures etc.,
– This is hand driven pestle & mortar, the ingredients are put in the bowl (bigger stone) and a small stone with an wooden handle on top is rotated for 5-30mins by hand, frequently even water is mixed to get desired paste
– These are still used in villages and during various ceremonies, specially in India
– It is traditional in various Hindu ceremonies (such as weddings, and upanayanam) to crush turmeric in these mortars
– Food made using these tastes the best in the world, I bet because it is so natural !

Fabricated grinding machine

Image by IITA Image Library
Man operating a fabricated grinding machine grinding food products in an area.

Mirror China Grinding China Machine, G. W. Ritchey

Image by cliff1066™
George Willis Ritchey built this mirror grinding machine at the Yerkes Observatory in Williams Bay, Wisconsin in the late 1890s. Under the sponsorship of George Ellery Hale the machine was used to grind a series of telescope mirrors starting with a 24-inch and then a 60-inch mirror for a telescope initially intended for the Yerkes Observatory. The grinding machine was moved to Pasadena in 1904 to complete work on the 60-inch mirror. At some later time the apparatus was transferred to the California Institute of Technology. The Institute then sold the machine to the Lick Observatory of the University of California in 1949. The machine was used for making numerous mirrors over the next four decades and extensively modified over that period. It embodies the "sub-diameter tool" design approach to making large telescope mirrors whereby the grinding tool is drawn across the mirror blank by programmable rotating arms.

Nice Tool China Grinding Services photos

Nice Tool China Grinding Services photos

Check out these tool grinding services images:

Worst People of 2013 …item 2.. Richie Incognito’s Year of the Bully (Thursday, Dec 26 2013) – The NFL’s dirtiest player and proud of it. — MAN UP – Richie Incognito 2013 …

Image by marsmet533
Listen up, you blog-typing twats. I read your articles about me, including the claim I drove that rookie biatch Jonathan Martin bonkers by harassing him. All I have to say is: Take a whiff of my cup and wake the hell up. That dude is softer than my supple Italian foreskin. This is professional football we play, not some tea-cozy crocheting competition.
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………*****All images are copyrighted by their respective authors ………
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… marsmet533 photostream … marsmet533 …

m.flickr.com/#/photos/109937567@N06/

Thursday, April 3, 2014

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m.flickr.com/#/photos/109937567@N06/11314830365/

Black text on white background

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m.flickr.com/#/activity/

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… message header for item 1. … The 20 Worst People of 2013

Featuring threesome seekers, cokehead judges, hockey dads from hell, and, quite naturally, Greg Abbott.
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…..item 1)…. The 20 Worst People of 2013 …

… Miami New Times … www.miaminewtimes.com/

Featuring threesome seekers, cokehead judges, hockey dads from hell, and, quite naturally, Greg Abbott.
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img code photo … People of 2013

media.miaminewtimes.com/20-worst-people-of-2013.9401738.8…

Kevin Cannon

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By Pete Kotz … Thursday, Dec 12 2013

www.miaminewtimes.com/2013-12-12/news/20-worst-people-of-…
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— 20. Ron Nielson

Ron Nielson wanted to do something extra scary for the kids on Halloween. He decided it would be totally spooky — not to mention hilarious — to burn a cross at his Palm Bay, Florida, home.

Yet Nielson’s uproarious "prank" — his words — went awry when he doused the cross with gas and accidentally set himself aflame, destroying his comedic timing. Medics airlifted him to an Orlando hospital, where he was treated for second-degree burns over half of his body, and doctors struggled to get the punch line.
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img code photo … 20. Ron Nielson

media.miaminewtimes.com/20-worst-people-of-2013.9402082.4…

Kevin Cannon

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img code photo … 16. Alyssa Pack

media.miaminewtimes.com/20-worst-people-of-2013.9401740.4…

Kevin Cannon

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The 50-year-old is expected to try something more tasteful next year, like hanging an innocent sharecropper from a light pole.
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— 19. Bill Wisth

Bill Wisth is 6-foot-6 and weighs 350 pounds. He also really likes fish. These salient facts made him a regular at the all-you-can-eat fish fry at Chuck’s Place, a family restaurant in Thiensville, Wisconsin.

But his devotion to Chuck’s turned tragic one evening last spring. Wisth had already pounded 20 pieces of deep-fried goodness, yet still hankered for more. A waitress told him they’d run out. She offered to substitute a more expensive fish, but Wisth was rightfully outraged. The restaurant advertised all-you-can-eat, and he could still eat! He left in a huff, refusing to pay his bill.

Vengeance was his when he began picketing Chuck’s with a sign reading "False advertising." Wisth was soon hailed as the Nelson Mandela of Thiensville. If his fight proved in vain, Golden Corral might restrict customers to 17 helpings of coleslaw. The implications were grave.

Yet Wisth’s soaring star took a downward trajectory after the media interviewed a waitress. It turns out that Chuck’s owner let Wisth run a tab when he couldn’t pay for his meals. Worse, on the night in question, he was caught sneaking fish to his dining companion who hadn’t ordered the special, a breach of all-you-can-eat etiquette so egregious it was like hitting on your aunt at the afterparty for grandma’s funeral.

Wisth was exposed as a mooch and an ingrate. Thiensville soon shifted its allegiance to a more deserving hero: the guy trying to remove the traffic camera on Maple Street.
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— 18. Judge Michael Cook

The first sign that Michael Cook might not be suited for the Illinois St. Clair County Circuit Court came last spring. He and fellow judge Joseph Christ were vacationing at the Cook family hunting lodge north of St. Louis when police were summoned.

They arrived to find Christ, a father of six, dead in a bathroom. It seems he failed to read the fine print on a sizable package of cocaine, which warned that excessive use may piss off your heart, causing it to launch a work stoppage.

Having a dead judge in your bathroom tends to arouse the curiosity of the feds, who started investigating. But that didn’t temper Cook’s own fondness for powdered happiness. He was later arrested on heroin and gun charges after leaving the home of accused drug trafficker Sean McGilvery. (Cook had dismissed a case against McGilvery two years earlier. No word on whether this entitled him to a house discount.)

The judge resigned and was whisked to treatment in Minnesota. He pleaded guilty in exchange for 18 months in prison.
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— 17. Ernesto Yañez

Ernesto Yañez was a cop in Port Isabel before resigning to pursue a more lucrative profession: burglary. But the former lawman took some unusual lumps during his rookie season.

He and an accomplice burglarized a home in Rio Hondo, scoring a fine selection of tools. But Yañez accidentally left his police-issue pager at the scene. So he called the homeowner at 2 a.m., claiming he’d left the pager behind when he saw someone breaking in while patrolling the area. Fortunately, he’d cracked the case, fingering notorious tool bandit Manuel Manzanares.

There was one small problem with this diversionary tactic: Manzanares didn’t appreciate being ratted out, especially since he was Yañez’s accomplice. So he in turn ratted out Yañez, allowing police to solve the burglary without lifting a doughnut.

Yañez’s burglary business is now for sale, though it has yet to find an interested buyer.
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— 16. Alyssa Pack

Alyssa Pack was spending a delightful afternoon at Twin Hills Park in Crestview, Florida, with a young child and an unidentified man, enjoying the natural splendor. On this day, however, said nature included a trio of geese. They kept following Pack around, perhaps trying to mooch some bread crumbs because they hadn’t taken personal responsibility and gotten jobs.

Pack thought it a teachable moment. She taunted the geese by saying, "I’ll beat you so hard you won’t even know it." Her friend filmed the scene on his cell phone.

As you might expect from unemployed water fowl, the geese didn’t speak English. So Pack resorted to the international language of kicking them in the head as the young child laughed in the background.

"Did you get me kicking?" she asked her cameraman, dancing before her adversaries like Manny Pacquiao. "I have now kicked all three of these geese in the face."

She knew her performance would make a wonderful educational video for the National Forest Service or the Ted Cruz presidential campaign. So it was loaded to Facebook.
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But instead of celebrating her tough love, viewers began ratting Pack out to the cops. She was charged with animal cruelty and rocking a Macaulay Culkin hairdo in public.

— 15. Miguel Ortiz and Sergio Maldonado

Today’s lesson, boy and girls: Stay in school, even if you’re only pursuing a community college degree in kidnapping.
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img code photo … 12. Matthew Supran

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Kevin Cannon

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img code photo … 6. La Crystal King-Woolfork

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Kevin Cannon

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Exhibit A: Miguel Ortiz and Sergio Maldonado, inattentive students.

One evening, a man was standing outside his Los Angeles home when the two gangbangers decided he’d make a fine if unwilling chauffeur. They forced him to drive them on a few errands before reaching their final destination, Bare Elegance, a strip joint favorably reviewed by criminals on Yelp.

Our heroes let their chauffeur go. He naturally called police. But since Ortiz and Maldonado failed to bone up on the getaway section of their kidnapping studies, they were still at the strip joint when the cops arrived.

The pair was arrested for kidnapping, robbery and setting a poor example for America’s youth.
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— 14. Maria Caya

It was the last day of school. Fourth-grade teacher Maria Caya was slated to take her young charges to a Janesville, Wisconsin, bowling alley to celebrate. So she prudently began drinking at 6 a.m. to get a jump on the festivities. Good teachers are always prepared.

Though eight other school employees attended the field trip, no one noticed that the 50-year-old educator had slightly overshot her intake capacity. Until she passed out at the bowling alley. With a blood-alcohol level of 0.27. Enough to fuel a Viking ship for three months.

Caya was accused of violating district policy on holding your liquor during field trips. She was paid ,000 in exchange for her resignation.
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— 13. Ronald Dean

A gym teacher at the AmeriSchools Academy in Phoenix led a class of kids ages 10 to 13 out to the playground for a little exercise. That’s when they saw a middle-aged man in a nearby alley. His pants were down, and he appeared to be masturbating.

Police arrived to find Ronald Dean smoking crack and masturbating in full view of the school. Dean didn’t understand what the fuss was about. "I was just sitting here getting high," he told the cops.

The officers patiently explained that pleasuring oneself in front of kids is generally frowned upon in Arizona. It took some doing, but Dean finally got the gist of their argument, conceding that he could have chosen a better locale to polish his manly sword.

"I guess I could have gone underneath the bridge overhang," he sheepishly admitted.

He was charged with indecent exposure and possession of narcotics.
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— 12. Matthew Supran

Delray Beach, Florida, chiropractor Matthew Supran was watching his son’s hockey game when a 14-year-old opposing player elbowed his boy in the face. A ref ruled the hit non-malicious, giving the kid a five-minute penalty under hockey’s sentencing guidelines of assault.

Yet Supran had neglected to teach his son the game’s prescribed response for an elbow to the face: a succession of retaliatory punches. Clearly he sucked as a hockey dad.

So the 230-pound Supran ran onto the ice, punched the teen offender in the face, then grabbed his helmet and slammed his head into the boards in a naked attempt to compensate for bad parenting. He was arrested on charges of child abuse.
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— 11. Greg Abbott

Dallas couple Jeffrey and Henry Buck were married in Massachusetts, only to see their love wither two years later. A Dallas family court granted their divorce.

This caused Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott to blow a gasket. He’s a strident opponent of gay marriage, fearing it will spur an outbreak of elegant kitchen remodeling that makes no allowances for gun racks. And since he’s also running for governor, he wanted to appease the state’s many followers of Mean Jesus, the pissed-off version of the leading brand.

So Abbott appealed the decision. Since Texas law banned gay marriage, he argued, the Bucks couldn’t legally divorce either. A state appellate court agreed, reportedly signing its decision in drool.

Abbott got his wish: The Bucks were forced to stay gay married.

Wait, what?

The case is now before the Texas Supreme Court justices, who are expected to hire someone who can read it to them.
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— 10. Kent and Jill Easter

Kelli Peters, a volunteer at an Irvine, California, elementary school, had punished a boy after tennis practice. Enter the kid’s Parents from Hell, Kent and Jill Easter, who believed their son suffered grave emotional damage from the incident.

The married lawyers sued Peters, tried to get her fired and even sought a restraining order. But she kept volunteering.

So one night, Kent left a bag filled with pills, weed and a used pipe on the seat of Peters’ car, which was parked at the school. He then anonymously called police, claiming he’d seen someone driving erratically and trying to hide nefarious contraband in the school parking lot.

Unfortunately for them, the cops didn’t believe Peters was dumb enough to leave her dope in full view on the seat. Suspicions soon turned to the Easters, whose track record of ham-fisted revenge fit the modus operandi of the caper.

Detectives traced the anonymous police call to Kent. Cell phone records also showed he’d been in contact with Jill that night, presumably providing a play-by-play of their gleeful dance with vengeance.
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The damning phone records caused the glee to dim. Jill pleaded guilty to false imprisonment and the couple separated.

But Kent fought the charges, invoking The Hen-Pecked Defense. He claimed his wife forced him to make the call, and said Jill actually planted the dope while he was home sick in bed. Alas, this was contradicted by his own cell records, which showed him outside Peters’ home on the night in question.

He’s now again awaiting trial after his first trial ended with a hung jury. In the meantime, the couple has sued the Los Angeles Times, the Irvine Police Department, the Orange County District Attorney’s office and 100 other unnamed people for defamation and being mean to them online. But since Kent has been fired by his law firm, it’s unknown whether he can afford to provide all those defendants with free weed and pills.
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img code photo … 3. Jonathan Savas … Florida’s #1 DAD!

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Kevin Cannon

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Kevin Cannon

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— 9. Rojorlo Naranjo

Rojorlo Naranjo had previous convictions for kidnapping and sexual assault, granting him entry to Colorado’s prestigious list of registered sex offenders. This, the 57-year-old knew, was exactly the kind of pedigree that left women quivering globs of longing and desire. Which is why he chose the romantic setting of a Greeley, Colorado, bus to drunkenly hit on a much younger woman.

Perhaps Naranjo was off his game. Perhaps the woman left her desire on the kitchen table that day. Either way, her inexplicable rejection of Naranjo was emphatic enough that the bus driver told him to quit creeping her out.

Yet Naranjo couldn’t let this assault on ego and honor pass, lest all the other sex offenders mock him. So he sucker punched the driver, threw him off the bus, and began kicking him in the head.

Alas, his pummeling was insufficiently gallant to reverse the woman’s heart. But it did get the attention of police, who charged him with harassment, "endangering public transportation" and trying to date over his head. Naranjo was sentenced to 18 years.
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— 8. Adam Savader

Adam Savader was a budding Republican operative who interned for Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney. Despite his access to the halls of power, he was unable to score with the ladies. That’s because he’s a frumpy little man-child with voodoo eyes that make him appear to be the product of an amorous weekend between Michele Bachmann and Charles Manson.

Still, Savader would not be denied love — or at least his weird approximation of it. So he began hacking into the email accounts of former classmates at George Washington University and his high school in Great Neck, New York.

Whenever he discovered selfies of bare-naked women intended for someone other than Adam Savader, he would send his targets anonymous texts, demanding they beam him additional naked photos. If they refused, Savader threatened to not only send his existing trove to their mothers, but to their sororities and — gasp! — the Republican National Committee, where they would likely be shared with known degenerates, such as congressmen from Alabama.

One victim attending college in Michigan went to police, who traced the anonymous texts to Savader. Though detectives say he attempted to extort 14 women, he was allowed to plead guilty to one count of stalking, for which he’ll spend at least two years in the slam.
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— 7 . Christopher Caceres

A homeowner in San Pedro, California, knew something was amiss when he heard his 80-pound akita make a "huge yelp-like shriek" in the backyard in the middle of the night. The man went outside to find that an intruder had left behind his cell phone.

Two weeks later, the dog made the same unusual yelp. This time the man discovered the prowler had left a gate open. Fearing that someone was casing his house, he installed security cameras.

It wasn’t long before the man awoke one Sunday to find the akita’s hair strewn about the backyard. A review of security tape would reveal something worse than a garden-variety burglar.

The tape showed 22-year-old Christopher Caceres, a neighbor’s grandson, drugging the akita to get it to relax. Caceres then spent from 2 to 4 a.m. having sex with the animal, a remarkable feat of depravity and stamina.

Caceres has been charged with burglary, sexual deviance, bestiality and rape of a dog, with more charges expected.
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— 6. La Crystal King-Woolfork

La Crystal King-Woolfork spent a September night partying with a female friend at the Shake Your Booty club in Indian River County, Florida, a known home to refinement, mystery and romance.

At 4 a.m., the friends repaired to La Crystal’s boyfriend’s house to perform oral sex on each other. The boyfriend, who’d been sleeping, awoke to the bare-naked festivities. La Crystal asked him to make it a three-way tournament. The boyfriend declined.

His refusal harshed the atmosphere, so the female friend left. That left La Crystal and her man to argue over proper etiquette for hosting a guest.

At some point, La Crystal chose to accentuate her position by hitting him in the face with a metal candle holder and smashing her cell phone on his head. Then she stabbed him in the eye.

La Crystal confessed to her role in the candle holder/cell phone attack, but denied jabbing a knife in her boyfriend’s eye. She’d always maintained strict rules about sticking to unconventional weapons, feeling it was more creative.
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Police charged her with attempted murder.

— 5. Thomas Lowe

Eagan, Minnesota, divorce lawyer Thomas Lowe was representing an abused woman with mental troubles. His services included more than unlimited bluster and threatening paperwork. He also provided full-immersion discovery, bedding her just to ensure that he’d probed every last detail of the case.
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img code photo … 20. Ron Nielson

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Kevin Cannon

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img code photo … 16. Alyssa Pack

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Kevin Cannon

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It is said that Lowe possesses the erotic fury of a caged ferret. The woman was smitten — even though Lowe was actually billing her for their time in bed.

Six months later, the married lawyer declared the bedroom phase of the case concluded. But his decision was premature, perhaps clouded by the fact that her bank account was running low. She responded by trying to whack herself.

The affair was revealed at the hospital, which led the state Bar Association to accuse Lowe of conduct unbecoming, even for a lawyer. Though he had upheld the profession’s highest calling — the blind pursuit of billable hours — his law license was indefinitely suspended.
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— 4. Marcus O’Neal

Aside from spending the diaper money on Wild Turkey and crack, nothing quite says "I love you" like unbridled jealousy. Or so thought Marcus O’Neal.

He’s not the most self-confident man. It’s a reasonable position, since he’s also a moron and a candy-ass. The evidence: His girlfriend had "liked" a photo on Facebook that showed a female friend and another man. O’Neal equated the like with lust for the man and flew into a rage.

He closed the windows so the neighbors couldn’t hear, then began beating his girlfriend, calling her a whore and threatening to kill her as four kids in the home shrieked in horror.

At one point, the woman nearly blacked out. O’Neal ripped off her clothes, "inspecting for signs of infidelity," according to police. Because he’d never watched CSI, he was unaware that electronic images can’t be detected on the human body.

Springfield, Missouri, police charged him with three counts of domestic assault.
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— 3. Jonathan Savas

There’s a reason tornadoes always ask for directions to the nearest trailer park whenever they come to town. They’re looking for people like Jonathan Savas.

Savas was hanging at a friend’s mobile home in Sha-De-Land, Florida, with his 10-month-old baby and the child’s mother. The child wouldn’t stop crying, presumably interrupting Savas’ thoughtful discourse on Keynesian economics. So he decided to sit on the baby’s head. Nothing quite silences a fussy infant like suffocation by buttocks.

The friend confronted Savas. The child’s mom told him to stop. But Savas invoked his paternal right to be an asshole. "It’s my baby," he allegedly responded. "I can do whatever I want."

Police contested his thesis by arresting him for child abuse.
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— 2. William T. Woodward

William Woodward had a longstanding beef with a neighbor. The man had borrowed a roll of duct tape that went unreturned. Woodward simmered, since it’s apparently very difficult to find duct tape in Brevard County, Florida.

His rage turned to a boil on Labor Day, when his neighbors were holding a cookout. Woodward claims he heard someone yell, "Come on, boys. … We’re going to get him. We’re going to get him, all three of us." Or maybe he just imagined it, since the phrasing sounds suspiciously like the wooden dialogue on Rizzoli and Isles.

Either way, he sneaked up on the party and shot three men, killing two of them. The third survived despite being shot 11 times.

Yet Woodward thought it a righteous shooting. He asked that murder charges be dismissed, citing Florida’s Stand Your Ground law and the Bush Doctrine.

Legal experts believe the Stand Your Ground defense may be a long-shot, since the law was intended to let Floridians shoot black kids who enjoy Skittles, not white guys cooking meat.

The Bush Doctrine shows more promise. It was used by President George W. Bush to justify the Iraq War. Though Iraq had yet to attack the U.S., he reasoned, it probably might. So he considered himself legally justified in blowing Iraq up now, rather than waiting until we’re all wearing veils and getting squeamish over hot dogs.

Woodward awaits trial on murder charges.
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— 1. Wells Fargo

Retiree Larry Delassus suffered from a rare blood-clot disorder that often left him disoriented and hospitalized. But this disability would prove minor compared to a more serious affliction: He was a customer of Wells Fargo.

The bank held the mortgage on his Hermosa Beach, California, condo. Unfortunately for Delassus, Wells Fargo mistook him for another customer, who happened to owe 13 grand in back taxes. Despite his protests, it doubled Delassus’ mortgage to pay off the nonexistent taxes. He quickly fell behind.

At some point, Wells Fargo discovered it had confused Delassus with another resident of his complex. But the company foreclosed on him anyway.

Being a banker means never having to say you’re sorry. And you get to take people’s homes. It’s a win-win situation.

Delassus lost his condo and was forced into assisted living.

He sued Wells Fargo for negligence and discrimination, but died one day in court. A coroner ruled it heart failure. Delassus’ friends believe the bank killed him.

There is a happy ending, however. The American Bankers Association gave Wells Fargo its Benito Mussolini Award, bestowed annually for "the exemplary persecution of orphans, widows and sickly old guys." It is considered the industry’s highest honor.
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…..item 2)…. Richie Incognito’s Year of the Bully …

… Miami New Times … www.miaminewtimes.com/

By Michael E. Miller … Thursday, Dec 26 2013
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The jockstrap arrived at 2:31 a.m. like a foul-smelling firebomb. Jorge heard the glass shatter and pedaled over. The gray-haired security guard pulled up on his Huffy just in time to see a Ford Bronco disappear in a cloud of burnt rubber. A fat, pale middle finger wagged out the driver’s window like a wayward kielbasa.

Let’s see your list, Richie. What psychos and sadists make up your People Issue?

It didn’t take Jorge long to find the missile amid the wreckage. Ten years of professional football had imbued the XXXL cup with its own pungent potpourri of blood, Bengay, and ball sweat. Locating it was easier than spotting a streetwalker on Biscayne Boulevard. The jockstrap was wrapped around a brick fastened with athletic tape and addressed simply: "To the Dildos at the New Times."
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img code photo … MAN UP – Richie Incognito 2013

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Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

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The next morning, this humble reporter unfurled the putrid package at his desk. The athletic supporter was the size of a baby’s blanket, every square inch of fetid, faded cotton covered in childlike scribbles. It wasn’t a warning, however — no threat for New Times to back off its investigations into steroid abuse in baseball, police shootings, or local corruption. Instead, it was a letter to the editor:

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What’s up, pussies? Richie Incognito here. The Miami Dolphins’ most offensive offensive lineman. Pro Bowler. All-Star Wild Child. The NFL’s dirtiest player and proud of it. I’m #68 on the field but #1 in secretly squeezing a dude’s scrotum during a Monday Night Football man-pile. (It’s called the "Rich-around." Get it?)

Listen up, you blog-typing twats. I read your articles about me, including the claim I drove that rookie biatch Jonathan Martin bonkers by harassing him. All I have to say is: Take a whiff of my cup and wake the hell up. That dude is softer than my supple Italian foreskin. This is professional football we play, not some tea-cozy crocheting competition.

I’d be angrier if I thought you were singling me out, but all your newspaper seems to do is print politically correct crap. You have a rapper as a columnist, a stripper who writes sex advice, and a newsroom full of MFAs. Let’s start with your so-called People issue. You profiled a human statue, a community activist, and a kid in a chicken costume. Seriously, guys. What fucking city are you living in?

Take a good, hard look at 2013 and show me when a community activist accomplished anything. The only statue anyone cares about is the Heisman. And for god’s sake, someone strip that kid of his chicken suit and suit him up in some pads so he finally gets laid.

What about Miami’s real badasses? What about the ballers like me who get the dirty work done? The amoral assholes who pull no punches and spare no shady dollar in an all-out blitz to win?

Here’s an idea. How’s about you print my People issue? No charities. No children. No gourmet coffee roasters or French fashion bloggers. Just the bullies who truly boss this town.

Fins up!

XOXO,

Richie

P.S. Can you guys crochet me a new cup?

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Dear Richie:

What a lovely surprise to receive your, uh, letter the other day, but do the Incognitos not believe in mailboxes? It’s taken our unpaid interns three days to pick up the mess. One cut herself pretty badly and, without health insurance, had to use your jockstrap to stop the bleeding.

To address your complaints: We’re sorry you don’t agree with our coverage of your suspension from the Dolphins, but calling your teammate a "half-n****r," threatening to defecate in his mouth, and saying you’d kill his family was, let’s just say, excessive. Compared to that, making Martin pay ,000 for you to fly to Vegas and taunting him by saying you had sex with his sister almost seems quaint. Almost.

As for your argument that our recent People issue ignored Miami’s "real badasses," we must point out that our issue focused on the coolest and most creative people in the city, not its most cutthroat and powerful.

But you’re right. More than any year in recent memory, 2013 was dominated by bullies like you. From Gov. Rick Scott to rogue neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman, corrupt politicians to bad cops and even worse criminals, steroidal sports stars to scamming team owners, 2013 was the year that Florida’s Freudian id came roaring back in full force.

This was the Year of the Bully. So let’s see your list, Richie. What psychos and sadists make up your People issue?

Sincerely,

New Times

Richie’s response arrived a few days later. This time, it was penned in ketchup on the greasy cardboard containers of a 16-piece family dinner from KFC:

Growing up in Jersey, my father would grab me by the collar in a horseshoe tackle and pull a Joe Pesci on me. "Son, don’t take no shit from no one," he’d scream. "If you let anyone give you shit now, you’re gonna take shit your entire life."

Of course, he also told me that Bill Clinton was Beelzebub and that "pretty boy Patrick Swayze wouldn’t last a day in the real shit" while watching Red Dawn, but that might have just been the Vietnam flashbacks and Wild Turkey talking.
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Big Richie was always trying to toughen me up. If I came home with a bruise, he’d tell me the other guy better have a black eye, or else I would. When I first kicked a kid’s ass — some nerd who’d been calling me fat for months — my dad didn’t ground me. He gave me ice cream.

"As the big, swinging dictator in Sweetwater, Manny Maroño was Scott’s number one supporter."

When my football coaches couldn’t see the talent hidden underneath my chub, Big Richie would collar me again and say, "Payback is going to come, Richie. When it’s time for you to have your payback, you open up the gates of Hell and make them stare at the Devil." I never really understood that last part, but it sounded pretty badass.

So when I made it big at the University of Nebraska, that’s exactly what I did: I put other people through hell. I teabagged my teammates in the locker room, blindsided the freshmen on the practice field, and punished our opponents on the weekends. I even perfected the Rich-around. I was a mean motherfucker, but I was a blocking machine.
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img code photo … MAN UP – Richie Incognito 2013

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Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

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Even when I went AWOL after flipping over my coach’s desk and getting cut from the team, Oregon still wanted me. And when I gave another coach the finger for telling me to see a shrink, the NFL nonetheless came calling.

And that’s my point. I’m like Dick Cheney: working in the shadows, getting my hands dirty, humping the ugly chick so others can look glamorous in the spotlight. I keep the quarterback with the cute smile and shampoo commercials safe from the vicious dudes on the other side of the line of scrimmage. But I ain’t a saint.

You may not like it, but we bullies have been the unsung heroes this year. Let’s start at the top. Everyone has been angry at the government this year. People keep saying it’s gotten to be like Big Brother, whatever that means. But without your big brother, you’d just get your ass kicked all the time, right?

Sure, the NSA is reading your emails, tapping your phone calls, probably tapping your wife too. Meanwhile, some stooge in a suit is taking your taxes. And TSA agents are poking your bunghole with latex fingers. Big Brother is a bully, but it’s better than having America the Beautiful overrun by jihadis. You’d be speaking Arabic or Urdu or something right now, buddy. Think about that. Urrrr-duuu.

It’s not just the feds who did whatever it took to save us in 2013. Take a look at here in Florida. Rick Scott might look like a poached testicle, but our gonadal head of state governs like a boss. That man brushed off a record .7 billion fine for Medicare fraud like a blown tackle. He ground out an election nastier than any NFL fourth quarter. Sure, his poll numbers tanked harder than Tim Tebow. But instead of spending 2013 making nice, he doubled down on being a dick. Every morning, he stepped over the Dream Defenders protesting outside his office like they weren’t even there. Scott let the kids camp out for weeks — sleeping on linoleum floors and surviving on Styrofoam cups of the capitol’s cruddy coffee — before telling them to get lost: Stand Your Ground was here to stay. What a sadist! LULZ.

Scott’s lieutenant governor resigned in disgrace — some scandal about lesbians and gambling, which sounds like a good time to me — but bossman didn’t even bother replacing her. His hot-as-balls attorney general, Pam Bondi, delayed the execution of a cold-blooded killer so she could throw herself a party. The guv was going to let donors hunt an alligator for ,000. My shotgun and I would have been there in a heartbeat had you morons in the media not found out first. And when Scott’s Republican buddies in D.C. took a stand against tyranny like food stamps and social security checks, so did the guv. He refused to reopen Florida’s parks. Fuck the economy!

What a terrific asshole. And why not? You’re only governor once, Rick — at least with Charlie Crist now in the race. YOGO!

If Scott is the tyrannical quarterback for Team A-Hole, then Miami-area Mayors Manny Maroño, Steve Bateman, and Michael Pizzi are his trio of wide receivers. Or at least they were, until they were arrested.

As the big, swinging dictator in Sweetwater, Manny Maroño was Scott’s number one supporter. He even shaved his head like the guv. In return, Scott made him president of Florida’s League of Cities and allowed his mini-me to start a business development firm named after the governor’s job creation plan. Maroño managed to get his wife, mom, uncle, and buddies on the Sweetwater payroll. And his two tow companies took over the town by bribing public officials and jacking cars whenever they felt like it.

If I may say so, Maroño was the Richie Incognito of Miami mayors. Remember when the Dolphins made a video of me playing croquet and asking fans to remain civilized? It was funny because I really am an asshole, like that time just months earlier when I used a golf club to sexually assault a woman during a team outing. Hilarious, right?
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Aniakchak’s Artifacts

Image by Buzz Hoffman
We’re working on the Aniakchak report. This photo is meant to illustrate the range of artifacts recovered from the site. This photo was taken by my lab assistants, Forest and Adam.